


Stuck in Traffic

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Stuck in Traffic, like R Kelly stuck in a closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 08:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: The boys are on their way to a Bronco's game when traffic strikes.





	Stuck in Traffic

Stuck in Traffic

Kyle thumped his fingers on the steering wheel. It had only been five minutes, but they weren't moving. He was sure it was some accident ahead, people not driving for the weather. It happened too frequently during the winter. With the days being shorter and the roads not exactly the best for driving 70, traffic jams were all too common around the city.

“Man, we're going to be late.”

Kyle turned towards Stan. The other sat, leaning against the door. The pout beginning to form on his face. 

“Dude. We have three hours and the stadium is only thirty seven minutes away. Even with parking and walking, we have two hours to spare.”

“But uhg!” Stan slouched in his seat, belt pressing into his chin. “It's like every time we come here during the winter, there's some huge accident that keeps us jammed up for hours.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. That just didn't seem right. It was just a large city, there was just always traffic. And it was game day, so of course there was extra traffic. 

“Whatever, dude. It's fine.”

The sound of the radio filled the silence, but Kyle knew that wasn't going to last long.

Not even fifteen minutes in standstill traffic, Stan was fiddling with the heater. Kyle smacked his hand away from the controls. Their eyes locked, glaring at one another. 

“It's hot.”

“You turn it down, the windows fog. It's just science, dude.”

“But. It's. Hooooot.” Stan was almost on the floor from scooting so far down his seat.

“Crack. Your. Windoooow.” Kyle readjusted the heat so it wasn't as hot, but he knew his car. If he turned it down too far, the windows would fog and unfogging them would be difficult if they weren't moving. 

Stan rolled his window down all the way, before rolling it back up to half. 

“Come on. That's not cracked.”

“I'm hot.”

“You're going to freeze- you know what. Fuck it.”

Kyle reached into the back and grabbed his jacket. He stared down Stan as he bundled up, going as far as to put on his gloves.

Kyle's phone dinged. “There’s a slow down on highway 70 that is causing a 10 minute delay.”

“Obviously!” Stan sat up in his seat. “We've been here for 10 minutes already.”

As the sound of sirens got closer, Kyle let out a breath of relief. They would have the accident cleared in no time. And all would be fine. 

“Awe man! They aren't already on the scene!?” We're fucked for sure.”

“Oh my God, Stan. It's fine. We'll get there in time.”

“Yeah. Sure Jan.” Stan pulled out his phone, and leaned up against the door. 

“Look were moving!” Kyle moved with the traffic in his lane only to come to a sudden stop. “What the!? WE MOVED LIKE FIVE FEET! WHAT WAS THE POINT!?”

Kyle watching as a car drove down the interstate the wrong way. The disbelief had to be obvious.

“Oh my God they are going to cause another accident.”

“At least it won't be in our way.”

Kyle couldn't argue with that logic. He watched as another car threw itself into reverse and backed up, all the way up the entrance ramp a quarter of a mile back. He couldn't believe people were this stupid. 

Foot beginning to cramp, Kyle put the car in park and stretched out a bit. This is why he was glad he didn't live in a large city. He hated traffic. Hated being in the car at a standstill. Hated moving so slow he could run down the highway faster. 

Granted public transportation was always an option in a large city, but considering there was a bus stuck in this jam with him, he didn't feel it was that much better. Big city life was not for Kyle. Maybe Jersey Kyle-

Movement distracted him from his musings. He watched as Stan reached into the back of the car, his eyes never leaving the phone, and grabbed his jacket. Kyle eyed him suspiciously for a bit until he pulled something out of his pocket and set his coat at his feet.

Kyle rolled his eyes at Stan. They literally had the same phone. He could have just used his charging cable. Yet here Stan was prepared to kill his battery pack, and then bitch halfway through the game when he didn't get that beautiful hail Mary throw. 

“Just use my cable.” Kyle said, holding it out for him.

“No. Mine charges faster.” 

Kyle's eye twitched. Was he doing this on purpose? “Fine then use the car port. There's no point in waistin-”

“It's fine. It has enough power to charge my phone twice.”

“Whatever.” It was Kyle's turn to pout. Stan was being stupid and he hated it.

Stan was always stupid though, but today it seemed more so. Kyle couldn't help but think maybe Stan discovered his secret. His long harbored crush on him. He didn't want it. Stan was supposed to be his best friend and nothing more. But at some point his stupid brain had turned on him and thought Stan was attractive, which he just was, and that their friendship could be something more. 

He'd kill a man to go back to seeing Stan as just a friend.

He tore his eyes away from Stan and turned it back towards the traffic. The person next to him looked more comfortable than Stan. She had her feet up and seat back, obviously ready for the long wait. The car in front of them, well, Kyle did not envy those parents. It looked like they had agreed to take gaggle of children somewhere. They were having too much fun in the car. In front of him was a stupid truck on a lift kit, much like what Cartman drove because he thinks it's cool. 

Kyle hated it. 

“Keenum threw out his shoulder in practice.”

“Lame.”

“Right? What a terrible time for that to happen. Seahawks this week. And 49ers next. They've both been playing surprisingly well.”

“Hogan should be able to handle it.”

Kyle smiled a bit. He knew that look from Stan. The “I'm about to sports nerd on you for a bit” look. It was cute the way he would scrunch his. Nose when disgusted or laugh at whatever stupid football joke he said. 

“I mean maybe if both teams started to-”

The corner of Kyles eye caught it. He could see the faint blur if a white car traveling down the shoulder, like that was going to get them around the jam. But there was also a red car driving the wrong way. Neither stopped. Horns blared as the both crashed head on, a bit farther in front of them.

“Was that what I think it was?” He could hear Stan's soul break. 

“We still have two hours-”

“Whatever.” Stan slouched down and looked at his phone 

“It's on the shoulder so it's not blocking the way.”

“It's blocking the way of emergency vehicles. To the other crash.”

“There's a whole left hand shoulder.”

Stan let out a huff signaling the end of the discussion. Kyle picked up his own phone and decided to browse the internet. A new meme he didn't think was funny seemed to be filling every corner of the internet. There just wasn't anything funny about it. Just some creepy looking grandma holding out a plate of cookies. There was always texts on it like “Me” and “Over Sharing” but it was just other meme’s recycled into a new picture. It was nothing truly new or even remotely funny. Heaven forbid someone changes how it looks even slightly. It would start all over but now with filters.

“I don’t get why-” Kyle turned towards Stan and stopped mid sentence. The man was putting his jacket on.

Stan was putting on his jacket. And his window was still down. Kyle’s brain short circuited. He put on his jacket. And left his window down. Stan’s stupidity out weighed how attractive he was.

“Don’t get what?”

Kyle closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t get why your window is down.”

It was obvious Stan was fed up with Kyle and the window, but he was being an idiot and Kyle was not okay with that.

“Then I’ll be hot.”

“Then take off your jacket.”

“Then I’ll be cold.”

Kyle clenched his jaw. “Then roll up your window.”

“Are you even listening? I’ll be hot.”

“If you roll up your window and take off your jacket, then this won’t be a problem.”

“It’s not now. I’m perfectly comfortable.”

Kyle let out a yell of frustration and lunged for the window button. His seat belt locked up, preventing him from going to far. Anger clouded his thinking as he struggled to removed his seat belt. Stan moved into a defensive position, ready for Kyle to lunge again. 

“ROLL UP THE WINDOW!” He yelled as he tried to reach around Stan.

“NO!”

Stan easily held him back, but Kyle was determined. The car was only so big and he had the better reach. He just needed Stan to move back. Just an inch. Kyle tickled Stan’s side. The initle grab caused Stan to twist a bit. It was just enough. Kyle pressed the button, but it barely rolled up any before Stan was pushing into Kyle. He needed something bigger. A bigger distraction. Anything. Stan being so close he could only think of one thing. 

Kyle’s heart thumped harder than ever as his lips touched Stan’s. Stan didn’t pull away. He also didn’t return his kiss. Kyle pulled away a bit, ready to reach for the switch, to play it off completely as a trick. Stan’s arms quickly placed a hand at the base of Kyle’s skull so he couldn’t pull away before kissing him. Kyle was shocked Stan was kissing him, but his friend moved his lips against his own and all other thoughts left him. He kissed Stan back.

The kissing turned from soft to passionate real fast. Stan was pushing Kyle’s jacket off. Kyle reaching under Stan’s just to touch him. Anything.

“Traffic’s moving.”

Kyle and Stan both yelled and quickly moved apart. Kyle clenched at his chest. He’d forgotten completely about Kenny. He was napping in the back and so quiet. However, currently his head was poking between the seats, grin nearly splitting his face in half.

“RIGHT! DRIVING!” Kyle yelled as people behind him started honking.

He quickly took it out of park, trying to put his seatbelt on at the same time. Still he crawled forward a bit. The windows had fogged up making it hard for him to judge his distance from objects. A hand snaked its way between his seat and door and hit the buttons to roll down the front windows. He’d completely forgotten he could not only control all the windows, but he could also lock them.

“Windows will unfogg this way, while the heater warms back up,” Kenny stated and went back to laying down in the back. “Next time you want to make out in a car in the middle of winter, make sure the defrost is on full blast. Amatures.”

“You do this often?” Stan joked.

“Never in the middle of a traffic jam.You guys got me on that one.”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this while stuck in traffic. 100% of these things are things I've seen. I get way to relaxed when I realize I'm going to spend an hour stuck and will roll down my window, slouch, and rest my foot near the mirror, and then write. It's taken me two hours to get home before. lol traffic is a magical place to be.


End file.
